Week 1: The Beginnings of Home + APIA pop culture

In thinking about this assignment it was a bit surprising to see that I was able to come up with multiple images and feelings of home. I think it’s because I’m on better terms with my mom right now. I think it’s because Jackson and I have our own apartment that’s just ours. I think it’s because I made ginger tea for him that morning because he was sick. This time last year I would have had a much harder time because I lived on campus and this time last year my apartment was already cluttered and occupied by animals not approved with RAD. Anyway, this time around I was able to jot down ideas about my family and things about my past that I haven’t really shared.

The first thing I wrote down was writing. It’s my calm space. Writing has done wonders for my mental health. It’s the one place where I can come to a place of acceptance and forgiveness for myself. This week showed how important my journal is to me. When I came home on Wednesday I was drained and overwhelmed and that’s when I realized that I hadn’t written in a while. My journal is where I free up my thinking space so I can move on with my life. I wrote that night and was able to temporarily write myself out of a hole. As much as writing has been liberating for me, it’s also super freaking hard for me to do when it comes to academic papers. Sometimes I get this image of me tearing off my arm, throwing it on some paper, turning it in to my teacher saying “HERE IT IS HERE IS WHAT YOU ASKED FOR.” The only way I’ve been able to write my papers without scrapping the whole thing midway though was writing it in my journal. That’s where I know I’m not as judgmental and hard on myself 🙂

Not too far down the list was ginger tea. Oh that was a big thing this week. My partner Jackson was sick for two days and I made him the tea my mom used to make for me and my brother on cold nights. Ginger tea is one of the things that holds memories of being at home with my mom and my brother and life would just be calm, warm and relaxed. When Jackson and I moved into our apartment, it didn’t take me very long to ask her how she makes it. There are many recipes for ginger tea. My mom’s version uses very simple ingredients but the most important thing is the timing and how much ginger to put in. The first time I tried to make it, that distinct throat tingling feeling of ginger wasn’t there. That’s when I realized I had to put more and to balance it out with brown sugar. I don’t have my ratios right just yet but I’m getting there. The ginger feels so good on the throat too and it’s the memories attached to it that makes it so much more special.

In thinking of home, of course I thought about my partner, Jackson. He calls me Love Face and I think that is the sweetest most precious thing ever. Through the way he expresses himself to me, reassures me when I’m insecure, does his best to be there for me when I’m sad and empty, how he sings and dances for me, makes fun of me for saying LOL too much, how he works on his misogyny and toxic masculinity…there’s just so much about him that I love and that’s why he is home.  With him I know that he will do his best to be there for me like how I try to do my best for him.

An important component to this final project is incorporating Asian American pop culture into our visions of home. With me being Pilipinx there is a lot I can draw from. Some examples are written into my notes, like certain video games, food and family. One thing I didn’t write down were books. An early memory I have is being scared of the movie adaptation of The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan while my mom was watching it on TV. Years later I read the book. When I was in high school I read a couple other novels written by Asian women but there just weren’t a lot of them in my school libraries 🙁 For this project I was thinking about centering home and A-pop on my mom because I’d love to dedicate a piece of my writing to her and I think it would be healing for me to do. Other ideas I had were making connections between Asian women’s representation in the media and my physical body as home BUT that would very easily put me in a position I don’t think I’m ready for. I am excited to seriously sit down and think about what I want to do. All the writing assignments I have done at Evergreen were personal passion projects for me and this one will be no different.