The peer review extinguished every droplet of fear I had about sharing my work. My partners gave solid advice paralleled with ample compliments to counterbalance. Their papers were rich and showed great examples of techniques to use on my own. It was a truly remarkable experience to share something so personal with such feeling of comfort. I loved focusing on the positive aspects of the paper to bring out the richness instead of cutback the shit. Because there isn’t any shit. And I love that!~ Everything we write is good. I need to tell myself that about a million times a day to believe it. Phew. But to read someone else’s paper with that mindset is the way to do it. Let their style, vocabulary, rhythm and focus shine; let mine shine on my paper. It truly was a collaborative effort, like writing a song with friends while laughing and talking shit instead of alone in your room in the dark.

I am much more confident with the direction of my paper than before.

I haven’t done a minute’s worth of writing since then but I will. I just needed a break. Starting tomorrow I’ll write up questions for Kris and our one-on-one to discuss about my paper. I want to know how to write with an active voice instead of passive and I have a tendency to write passively. Either way, by going camping this weekend I felt like I was connected by a silver thread that spans eternities to the Japanese poet-monks who spent years on foot traveling in the mountains of Northern Japan.  Like King Duk, I am trying to be Kwan Kung in order to play Kwan Kung.