This week I submitted the second draft of my essay about home in relation to Asian American popular culture. I more than doubled the length of my paper, bringing the total number of pages to a little over seven. I used suggestions from our previous peer review writing workshop to help me improve my writing. I also added a lot of things that I didn’t have time to add the first time around, and new information that I have found in my research since the last draft. The additions to my paper this time around include:
More information on the history of metal music in Japan.
Information and opinions on J-pop and Japanese idol culture, including the case of Minami Minegishi.
References to or information on more specific examples of artists such as Hikaru Utada and Maximum the Hormone.
The use of English lyrics in Japanese music.
More context on how Japanese political opinion affected feelings toward American music in the 1930s and 1940s.
Some background about my musical and lyrical taste.
In addition, I tweaked some earlier parts of my paper and fixed some spelling and grammatical mistakes (although unfortunately I noticed some that I had missed after submitting it.) This week we had another peer review writing workshop, and I will use that feedback once again going forward with my final draft.
