This week has been a trying one for me. Both Kirsten and I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety in relation to our project. The subject matter is near and dear to both of our hearts, but sometimes words won’t come. It can be difficult try to describe the ineffable, to put intensely emotional and instinctual ways of knowing into rational language. I have been worried about the quality of my output in relation to this project. I am usually quite good at trusting my intuitive voice but sharing that with others is another story. I have been struggling to meet my own expectations and worried that I am failing to meet the expectations of the academic world in which I am currently operating.

From where I sit as I type this I can see trees swaying gently in the breeze. Trees are by no means still beings but their sense of time seems to be a bit different than ours. There is so much noise and distraction in our modern lives and I often find myself struggling to quiet my brain. The amount of stimulus that we are faced with everyday is no doubt incredibly overwhelming to us on a physiological and psychic level, especially to those of us who are sensitive to all that noise.

So, what could be more animistic then to take a lesson from the non-human life around us. As with those trees, I am trying to learn how to sway more gently in the wind, to allow myself to be moved but to always return to my center, the place where I am grounded. Animism is that place for me. It is a way for me to approach the world with a humble heart and to truly listen and converse with all of the life that surrounds me at any given moment. Sometimes I get lost in the noise and forget that connection and kinship are what provide me with sanity. The acceleration of life in the modern world of the human being often overwhelms me. Like a deer in the headlights, I feel frozen in place, unable to move. So I seek distraction, I try to turn my brain off with behaviors that, although immediately satisfying, do little to help in the long run. As soon as I need to interact again with the world, the anxiety is right back with me.

It is at times like this, when I am feeling completely overwhelmed by everything that I need to remember to slow down and breathe. To go outside, move my body, and watch the plants and animals as they go about their business. To interact with the world animistically is to remember to live in wonder, to remember to see, hear, taste, smell, and touch. It is remembering that the plants and animals have much to teach us if we are willing to learn.

So, in answer to the anxiety that is currently overwhelming my body, I am going to take a break from worrying about what anyone else is going to have to say about my thoughts and feelings. I am going to quit worrying that I may be incapable of expressing my thoughts and feelings. I am going to take a break from listening to the internal and external noise. Instead I am going to hit the publish button, stop staring at this computer screen, take a deep breath, and go outside for a bit to listen to what the wind has to tell me.