As you (if you’re reading; pretending some of you are makes this a bit more fun to write) know, we read articles about influential people according to Rolling Stone and Time magazines. I have a lot of thoughts about this and many opinions that I am going to share. Why? Because if I sit with my thoughts they’re gonna consume me and fizzle out into nothing, and that’s wasteful.

I’ll talk about Rolling Stone first because there’s little for me to really delve into here. I liked it and agreed with their 25 selected people. They clearly described why these people were important and how they will have an impact. I really have no complaints about this because it just is and that’s good. It was a nice easy read that didn’t seem to pick sides. It told the bad and good as well as the potential for these people and their plans. Most importantly, it explained why they were important.

As for Time, these feelings are not extended to them. I think the biggest problem was that these articles were written by friends of the people or at least fans of the 100 people. Therefore any factual evidence often went out the window. I often had no clue why these people were influential but I did know that they were ‘a good friend’. Also, some of the people who wrote some how made it about themselves (i.e. Common on Chance the Rapper). Here’s an example of one of my takeaways; Taylor Swift’s article on Ed Sheeran comes across as this: “Ed is suuuuccchhh a good friend and soooo talented. One time, he didn’t believe in himself and I was such a good friend and supportive, because I am. He showed me what would be his biggest song conveniently a second later. Then he got a Grammy. Yay :)”. This didn’t tell at all why he’s supposedly influential. I gained nothing but annoyance from reading it. There is no substance to these articles, just fluff. Obviously, Time doesn’t care about being the best in objective reporting but rather how much they can sell and how much buzz they can garner. This is obvious. Having Mitch McConnel write about Jeff Sessions in the new 2018 edition? Ted Cruz on Trump? This is just supposed to piss people off so they buy this or view it out of spite. Job well done.

Another thing for me was some of the people selected as influential I didn’t agree with.  Let me name a few: Ivanka Trump, Ed Sheeran, James Cordon, and John Legend. That’s from the 2017 list of people I knew (I’m not going to try and have an opinion on people I’ve never heard of, that’s not fair). As for 2018; Millie Bobby Brown, Shawn Mendes, Prince Harry, and Jimmy Kimmel. The reason I didn’t believe these people didn’t fit the bill for me lies within what I consider influential. I should explain this to further this rant-y blog post (the best kind, in my opinion).

In classic high school fashion, Merriam-Webster describes influential as ‘exerting or possessing influence’ and influence as ‘the act or power of producing an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command’. I used this because the first few talked about stars and shit and I wasn’t gonna lean on that for this. I don’t personally see influence as just that. I personally see influence as synonymous with inspiration and fostering change, whether that be small or global and massive. I believe influence tends to create change and inspiration, maybe this is because I’m a music person. With that in mind I would surmise (begrudgingly) that Trump is influential. He has inspired people to actively hate people of color/lgbtq+ people, be outright racist, and send us to Reganomics v2 or some form of it. He also inspired resistance and tangible change. Women’s March, local communities becoming active in their state and local politics, and people actually protesting en masse for the first time since the invasion of Iraq (at least as I can see it). With me sharing this opinion it leads to this point: what the fuck has Ed Sheeran, Ivanka Trump, or Millie Bobby Brown really done that’s influential? Ed Sheeran hasn’t done really much in the way of influencing music. He’s another white boy who sings and plays the acoustic guitar. He’s doing what a bunch of guys trying to get laid do. He has not changed music in the slightest. “Oh but he uses a looper and is like one person live doing all this stuff”. Okay but people have been doing that for literally ever to some extent and looping and pre-recorded tracks have been around since the further advancements in music and live sound. “Bennie & the Jets” uses loops and that was 1973. And one person doing music? Kevin Parker of Tame Impala (he is Tame Impala) does this and people actively seek him out for projects (Mark Ronson, Lady Gaga, and SZA to name a few). Moving on, Ivanka? IVANKA? She literally has done nothing that has tangible influence in our world. I won’t even delve into the white feminism aspects of this. I’m not gonna extend my fury to Millie cause a) she’s a child b) I like her acting and c)I’m more confused than anything else her being on this list, but you get the point.

Don’t get me wrong, there were many people on the list I agreed with. Jordan Peele? Absolutely! Donald Trump, Kim Jong Un, Putin?  Through gritted teeth I agree. I definitely agreed more with the 2018. Especially with the additions of Jacinda Ardern, Trevor Noah, Greta Gerwig, Kehinde Wiley, and Justin Trudeau. These are people I know who I agreed with being on this list. They are creating real change and influence in the world. Of course there were people I think belonged on this list that weren’t on this.”Like who??” you ask. Well dear reader, I shall list some (not a specific number because I’ll end up doing more or less then I say I will and then I’ll have to go back and edit that number. That’s extra work. Kinda like typing this out was but ya know, it happens) of the people I personally would have put on there.

First, let’s talk about SZA (apparently pronounced ‘sizza’ [sc-iz-uh]? weird). She has been everywhere in the last year which was why I was surprised she wasn’t on the list. SZA released a massively successful album (‘CTRL’) that stayed in the mainstreams attention throughout the year. This album not only was successful but discussed topics that aren’t usually sung/talked about in a lot of popular music. She discusses relationships in a very tangible way that makes her lyrics feel visceral yet realistic. As Lorde once said “But every song’s like gold teeth, Grey Goose, trippin’ in the bathroom/Bloodstains, ball gowns, trashin’ the hotel room/We don’t care”. SZA reflects this in the fact that she sings about experiences that anyone could relate to. Music, in my opinion, in the mainstream tends to be aspirations rather than reality. No average person has a sports car (as the Strokes said “What kind of asshole drives a Lotus?”), but they do go to house parties to meet up with a crush only to find them with someone else who potentially is better (as is the narrative of her song “Drew Barrymore”). She also talks about femininity in what I assume is a realistic and unedited take on it. For example she sings numerous time about shaving her legs for guys as a sign of interest and in “Drew Barrymore” she says “I’m sorry I’m not more attractive/ I’m sorry I’m not more ladylike/ I’m sorry I don’t shave my legs at night”. She sings about being in the wreckage of a male dominated world as a woman. “The Weekend” talks about only being with a guy during the weekend because he’s with someone else during the week. “Normal Girl” is about how she is ‘normal’ but the guy doesn’t think so. But she doesn’t play the victim, she fights back. “Doves In the Wind” talks about how much of a gift sex is and that guys do not deserve it at times. In her opening track she shows she is hurt by a man but shoots back with: “Maybe she can come help you/Maybe she can come lick you after we’re done/ what’s done is done/ I don’t want nothing else to do with it/ let me tell you a secret/ I’ve been secretly banging your homeboy when you’re in Vegas/ all up on Valentine’s Day/ Why am I so easy to forget like that?/ It can’t be that easy for you to get like that/ Oh no, she didn’t, ooh yes, I did/ Oh no, she didn’t, I’ll do it again”. I mean there ya go. Beyond that she was part of Kendrick Lamar’s Black Panther soundtrack on the biggest song off it, “All The Stars”.

I also would have mentioned Kendrick Lamar. He released his album DAMN. which had a huge amount of success. Every album he’s released is important and it isn’t just an album: they are events. DAMN. coming out meant that it would be the only thing talked about within music for a week or two, automatically. And the album remained popular throughout the year. I can’t delve into this too much because I wasn’t a huge fan of the album and didn’t listen to it much. That said, it’s worth mentioning that it was Billboard‘s Year-End number one album, won best rap album of the year, and recently won a Purlitzer Prize (the first non-jazz or classical album to do so). And yet, fuckin’ Ed Sheehan is the influential one. Ridiculous.

The only thing this needs is some sort of ending. I think the best way to surmise this is as follows: at the end of the day, Time and it’s opinions don’t mean anything. Most people have their own influencers and some magazine looking for likes and money isn’t totally gonna sway a bunch of people. It isn’t the end all truth of influential people for the year. It, like this entire rant/blog, is merely an opinion piece. Did it influence me? Rhetorical question, I think I’ve made two things clear here: I didn’t like or agree with Time and my general disdain for Ed Sheeran. Maybe he’s a nice guy in real life, but he irks me from a distance. A distance I intend to maintain. For me, my influential people and such are this: Queens of the Stone Age (obviously, I never shut up about them), Arctic Monkeys, my parents, my friends, Tame Impala, Fiona Apple, Troy Van Leeuwen’s pedal board, Earthquaker Devices, the sun, good food, and Dickey’s BBQ in the fact that I NEVER want to work food service or a job like it ever again. That said, thanks for suffering through this and enjoy the nice weather were getting. Sooner than we expect it will fade and Winter will try to kill us again.