Two words: utterly overwhelmed.
I have 117 shots left to film, after cutbacks, disregarding several thousand additional photos of light painting to be composited in.
With five days to go before the fine cut, I have had to step back and look at the project as a whole to re-evaluate my strategy and goals for what I’m going to do with it. Without the slightest shadow of a doubt, I know that this cannot be finished in time. Instead, I’m trying to figure out where to focus my attention. Do I spend the rest of my time making light entities (particularly the ones that steal away the flashlight) so that I don’t have actors pantomiming? Do I fill in the gaps of the finale so that the whole thing ends with a visually spectacular bang? Do I just throw up my hands and say “OK! No more filming!” and whittle away at the mountain of editing that I already have?
It’s disappointing that I can’t do more than one. The project is not going to be what I hoped, not at all… not yet. I’m beginning to take a more long-term view on it. It’s turned into something that if I spent the entire summer filming and editing, I’m still not confident that it would get done. And I’m also beginning to feel OK with that. Like with all my previous projects, this has above all been a learning experience, and a fantastic one at that. While it may be unfortunate that all my films end up turning into something to learn from rather than something that I’m completely satisfied with, there is still so much time left to get things right. The Lightcrafter will be something quite cool when it’s all finished, but even now I see things that need some improvement that cannot be refilmed (some of the shots with Trevor, for instance).
It’s also getting to the point where so much has come crashing down that I know if I tried to press on and cobble together a “fine cut,” it would kill me. I already injured myself in the chase scene while running in those darn slippers and don’t really feel like shooting video of me running around. Another very unfortunate thing that happened is that my most-used camera accessory — the wireless remote — appears to be broken, meaning that light painting can only occur if we hold down the shutter on the camera itself (severely, severely limiting the angles I can light paint from, and it also causes more shake and blur in the photographs), and if the only way to continue light painting is to sacrifice quality for expediency, I say “no way.” Harmony has had it up to here (insert very tall, sweeping gesture here) with the project and has long deserved a break from all the work she’s done, leaving me with no one to work on it with. I don’t feel that great anymore — yesterday I felt so overwhelmed and generally “blah” that practically nothing was even accomplished. Another day of zero productivity will sound the death knell of the project, at least as far as the public screening goes.
Rant, rant, rant.
Anyways, like I said, what’s troubling me the most is trying find out where to set my focus. I know that it would look unprofessional to have storyboard/animatic material spliced in to fill the gaps, but it’s either that or I completely ditch trying to follow the storyline.
All I want to do right now is lay down, spend some time with Harmony, and relax. I don’t have the mental energy to think about this anymore.
What in the bloody hell am I going to do.