Dec 23

Brief reflection on killing the Christmas carp (Holub)

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Brief reflection on killing the Christmas carp, by Miroslav Holub (1923-1998)

You take a kitchen-mallet
and a knife
and hit
the right spot, so it doesn’t jerk, for
jerking means only complications and reduces profit.

 

And the watchers already narrow their eyes, already admire the
            dexterity,
already reach for their purses. And paper is ready
for wrapping it up. And smoke rises from chimneys.
And Christmas peers from windows, creeps along the ground
and splashes in barrels.

 

Such is the law of happiness.

 

I am just wondering if the carp is the right creature.

 

A far better creature surely would be one
which—stretched out—held flat—pinned down—
would turn its blue eye
on the mallet, the knife, the purse, the paper,
the watchers and the chimneys
and Christmas,

 

And quickly

 

say something. For instance

 

These are my happiest days; these are my golden days.
Or
The starry sky above me and the moral law within me,
Or
And yet it moves.

 

Or at least
Hallelujah!
Dec 22

Sleeping Parents, Wakeful Children (Dacey)

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Sleeping Parents, Wakeful Children, by Phillip Dacey (1939-)

When our parents were sleeping
We brought them gifts
It was a whispering time
The great bodies lain down
Upon the long bed
The deep sighs adrift
Through the upper rooms
It was a whispering time
When the gods slept
And we made gifts for them
With paints paper and tiny
Scissors safe for us
Masks and rings
Obscure magical things
In the halted hour
In the still afternoon
The anger asleep
And the jokes we didn’t understand
The violent love
That carried our weather
All subsided to these
Two vulnerable ones
Their hands and mouths
Open like babes’
Their heads high
In the pillowy clouds
For all we knew dreaming us
Sneaking in
Lest they woke and discovered
Our love our fear
How we thrilled to appease
Praise and thank
Them in secret
My sister and I
Approaching the border
The edge of the platform
Where the gods murmured
So precise in our placement
Of these our constructions
Frivolous fair
The gifts on the skirts
Of their lives for surprise
Then turning away
Lips and fingers a cross
When they opened their eyes
They would never know how
When or why
They would never know
Who we were
Dec 21

The Unquarried Blue of Those Depths Is All But Blinding (McHugh)

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The Unquarried Blue of Those Depths Is All But Blinding, by Ashley Anna McHugh(1985-)

There are some things we just don’t talk about—
Not even in the morning, when we’re waking,
When your calloused fingers tentatively walk
The slope of my waist:
                                         How love’s a rust-worn boat,
Abandoned at the dock—and who could doubt
Waves lick their teeth, eyeing its hull? We’re taking
Our wreckage as a promise, so we don’t talk.
We wet the tired oars, tide drawing us out.
We understand there’s nothing to be said.
Both of us know the dangers of this sea,
Warned by the tide-worn driftwood of our pasts—.
But we’ve already strayed from the harbor. We thread
A slow wake though the water—then silently,
We start to row, and will for as long as this lasts.
Dec 20

After the Attack (Rezmerski)

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After the Attack, by John Calvin Rezmerski (1942-)

When they crawled out of the cellars

of the burned houses,

and came dirty and dripping

out of the sloughs,

and saw how many of the dead were their children,

and saw how bright the children’s blood was

next to the dull adult blood,

and when they saw

how quickly flies light

and maggots are born

and saw

how hard it is to tell

human guts from a split log’s

and when they understood

how hated they were

they swallowed their tears

and puked

and saw the puke and tears

and puked again.

And they wailed hoarse prayers

to let it not be real,

not be real children,

let them belong to someone else,

let them be lambs,

let them be beasts,

let them be alive again,

let me not know them by name.

No prayer is big enough for some things.

 

Dec 19

Postcard From the Heartbreak Hotel (Brehm)

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Postcard From The Heartbreak Hotel, by John Brehm (1955-)

 

Wish you were here instead of me.

It has a fantastic view

of the unconscious ocean,

into which a few of the guests

will no doubt fling themselves

before their day is through.

The rooms are so spacious

and so clean you’d think

you were the first person

ever to not sleep here.

The beds of course are huge,

an abyss of white sheets around you

which you may fill with your

imagination whatever way you wish.

The staff — courteous, attentive,

remorseless — anticipates your

every need and frustrates them all.

The food, as you may guess,

is a tasteless affair, some grey

monotonous gruel we make up

poems about. “Cruel,” “fool,”

“wool” (as in over your eyes)

and “autopsy” seem to be

the favorite rhyme words.

And lately the guests have

devised a new game: who

can stare out the window

longest without seeing anything.

We’ve been told the mountains

before us are astounding.

But we’ve made them disappear.

Reduced them to a blank

grey screen on which

to play out the home movies

of our despair again and again.

And when the sun sets and

darkness reaches out its arms

around the world like a man

gathering his winnings off a table,

the trees outside my window

becomes your back

receding down the hall.

All the night the neon sign

glows in self-conscious irony.

Yes, there is a vacancy.

 

 

 

 

Dec 18

poem at thirty (Sanchez)

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poem at thirty, by Sonia Sanchez (1934-)

it is midnight

no magical bewitching

hour for me

i know only that

i am here waiting

remembering that

once as a child

i walked two

miles in my sleep.

did i know

then where i

was going?

traveling. i’m

always traveling.

i want to tell

you about me

about nights on a

brown couch when

i wrapped my

bones in lint and

refused to move.

no one touches

me anymore.

father do not

send me out

among strangers.

you you black man

stretching scraping

the mold from your body.

here is my hand.

i am not afraid

of the night.

Dec 17

Grieve Not (Curry)

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Grieve Not, by Walter Clyde Curry (1887-1967)

Grieve not that winter masks the yet quick earth,
        Nor still that summer walks the hills no more;
        That fickle spring has doffed the plaid she wore
To swathe herself in napkins till rebirth.

 

These buddings, flowerings, are nothing worth;
        This ermine cloud stretched firm across the lakes
        Will presently be shattered into flakes;
Then, starveling world, be subject to my mirth.

 

I know that faithful swift mortality
        Subscribes to nothing longer than a day;
        All beauty signals imminent decay;
And painted wreckage cumbers land and sea.

 

I laugh to hear a sniveling wise one say,
“Some winnowed self escapes this reckless way.”
Dec 16

Beirut Tank (Sleigh)

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Beirut Tank, by Tom Sleigh (1953-)

 

Staring up into the tank’s belly lit

by a bare bulb hanging down off

the exhaust, a mechanic’s hands are up

inside the dark metallic innards doing something

that looks personal, private. This tank is nothing

like the ones the Americans deploy.

Those have uranium piercing shells that could melt

right through this tank’s armor and set off

the ammo box: nothing can withstand the American tanks.

 

The barrel’s called a cannon. The machine guns they call

deterrents. The tank is old, small, about the size

of a horse and cart. The armor plate shines green

under the streetlight. The sprockets, almost rusted out.

Somebody forgot to grease the nipples. The timing belt is nicked

and worn. The spare parts from France don’t fit. This wire

crossed with this wire makes a catastrophic fire.

Be careful how you route it. .20 caliber ammo

goes in the hatch behind the armor plate.

 

The mechanic on his back in the dirt,

cursing in Arabic, sounds like he’s cursing

in a good-natured way: who was the fucking moron

who did the maintenance on this thing?

This tank, this tank, he should push it off

a cliff into the sea so that it could bob for

half an hour before sinking under the Pigeon Rocks

where all the lovers gather in the shadows

near that little bar, lit by a generator, that serves arak

 

and warm beer to soldiers hanging out on the Corniche:

mainly conscripts from down south, whose orange groves

rot because nobody can pick the oranges: try to pick

an orange and a cluster bomb lodged in leaves

comes tumbling into your basket. What weight oil

did this cocksucker use, anyway? And this engine,

it’s gonna blow. Beat up tanks and sandbags,

that’s all this army is, old sparkplugs that get fouled

so that you have to file the gaps over and over.

 

He stares up in that live, minute, completely

concentrated way of scrutinizing something

or someone you thought you understood:

the tank’s underbody completely covers his body

so they look like they’re embracing when he reaches up

inside it, his needle nose pliers crimping, twisting,

pulling down hard. There, you see that, it’s all corroded.

The cannon jutting out looks both threatening

and vulnerable as if the tank’s firepower

 

were dependent on that wire. He runs two fingers

up and down it, then feels where rust,

mixed into an oily paste, shines like bloody flux

that he gently dips his finger in, sniffs and tastes.

Clanging back his tapping on the armor plate,

as he listens to her talking on his back in the dirt, screwing in

the spare parts, the tank says what tanks always say,

Fix me, oil me, grease me, make it fit,

confirming what he knows about the French.

 

Dec 15

The Girls Next Door (Gunn)

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The Girls Next Door, by Thom Gunn (1929-2004)

Laughter of sisters, mingling,

separating, but so alike you

sometimes couldn’t tell

which was which,

as in a part-song.

I could hear them from outdoors

over the wall

that separated two gardens,

where the lilac bush on our side

was tattered by the passage

of domestic cats, on their constant

wary patrol through

systems of foliage.  And then

late afternoons, the sound

of scales on the piano,

of rudimentary tunes.

Evenings, one of them

would call their cat in,

‘poor wandering one’, a joke

out of Gilbert and Sullivan.

And again

laughter, two voices

like two hands on a piano,

separate but not at variance,

practice in a sunlit room.

 

Today, many years later,

the younger of the two

tells me about her divorce.

On the phone last week he said

‘I didn’t give you

the house for ever,

you know. You could learn

a trade at night school.’

‘But’ she exclaims to me,

‘I’m forty-nine!’

 

An hour later, from the next room,

I hear her with one of her sons,

and suddenly her laughter

breaks out, as it used to.

Though she is on her own

— for the other sister

died long ago, in her teens —

it is unchanged, a sweet

high stumble of the voice,

rudimentary tune.

Dec 14

The Mother (Herschel-Clarke)

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The Mother, by May Herschel-Clarke (1850-1950)

If you should die, think only this of me

In that still quietness where is space for thought,

Where parting, loss and bloodshed shall not be,

And men may rest themselves and dream of nought:

That in some place a mystic mile away

One whom you loved has drained the bitter cup

Till there is nought to drink; has faced the day

Once more, and now, has raised the standard up.

And think, my son, with eyes grown clear and dry

She lives as though for ever in your sight,

Loving the things you loved, with heart aglow

For country, honour, truth, traditions high,

–Proud that you paid their price. (And if some night

Her heart should break–well, lad, you will not know.)

 

(see previous entry)

Words That Burn