Week 9: Going to miss my blogging weekends 🙁

I’m just sitting here thinking about how to start this. These are the last blog posts of the program. I mean, I write all the time privately, and I think no one really reads through others’s blogs BUT BUT BUT this was like the bright spot of the weekend. The informal type writing assignment of the weekend where we can just spill our minds and not worry about academic diction. These posts could be anything we wanted them to be. So I’ll definitely miss this and also reading other students’ blogs. I was that person who read through some of your blogs…

So I guess I don’t really know what to say that I’m already going to say for the Paper and Rock posts. Scissors was always my favorite because I got to talk about my personal life a little bit, even if the personals coincided with Rock most of the time. Here are just some random thoughts. I think Paper I’ll write about Paper Bullets (lol) and Rock I’ll write about the currents with my paper and how that’s been going.

I overall enjoyed the program despite being hit with some personal issues in the quarter. This program surpassed all other programs and classes I’ve taken that hit me so hard. Forgotten Country did that to me – it did something I never thought I would do: reach out to my brother and sister who I have not talked to in years. Right now things are pretty awk with us as we have not met up since I sent the message. I pulled back from acting on getting us together, I feel like I’m so scared to be disappointed or have the whole thing blow up in my face if I make all these plans and try to get us together only to have it not happen. I was always scared of some “you did this to me” blaming battle that can happen when people hold resentment waiting for the time to strike. I’m not here for some digging of the past. Why I think that would happen anyway is my own insecurity, my own barrier I’m putting in front of me. But I want them to do some of the work too, I made the initial call, let’s see who picks up. But it would just be so like us to leave things where they are and not progress. I also dealt with some health and emotional issues that hit me around week 7 and 8. That made it hard to write my second draft. I’m still feeling the effects of it all. Yesterday I had a killer head and stomachache and my stomach is fine today but my head’s still in pain. Ugh. And Jackson’s been going through it too. So we’re both miserable. There’s just been a lot going on.

But anyway, back to the program… I could have done without the casual and not-so-casual sexism in some of the films and books but I guess there’s just seriously no way to ever escape it ever ever ever. And then like be “expected” to rise above it and be able to critique it and look at the nuances, the context, and the culture. Moving on… I’m very satisfied with the amount of female writers we got to read from. I learned quite a bit about Asian history and culture just by reading them and it inspired me to learn more. I did some extra reading on Operation Babylift, the Vietnam War, and the Korean War. I’m glad that I got to learn more about erased Asian identities and the positives and negatives of representation. I’ve always had a problem with Hollywood and it was interesting to notice how it has fucked up in regards to portraying Asians on TV and in movies. But I guess it didn’t “fuck up” since Hollywood was never about inclusivity. Hollywood can keep its hypermasculine, white, racist, sexist shit. I’m just looking to support POC, especially, QTPOC and BI+WOC, created content. Also one thing that I got to practice more is enjoying forms of media while also critiquing it. It’s easy for me to write something off and not pay attention to it, like I started to do with Better Luck Tomorrow. But in watching other films and reading some of the books, I practiced pointing out positives and criticisms.

And I have to include, how I had to establish boundaries on how much misogyny I can take. I think I’ll write more about that in the Paper post.

To end this off, I’m super glad I took this program. I’m proud of the personal growth I gained from it. I got to meet and work with some incredibly intelligent people who I learned a lot from and there were two great instructors who I also learned a lot from.