This week, despite her personal obstacles and familial obligation, Jessica shared posole with us for our seminar tasting lab. This being a traditional dish her family makes, she approached this choice with the “problem is the solution” mentality from Deetz’s article. One of her questions to ponder while we ate was as follows.

Do you have a specific comfort food? Is there a specific memory associated? What is comfort food?

While I took the time to mention a lot more than one during seminar, I took time to think about all of various choices, and realized something unique about one of the various food products. While baked ziti and Jewish deli staples are associated with memories of my loving family, I realized that my Half-Baked Ben and Jerry’s treat of choice had an entirely different association, and it wasn’t just calorie count.

When I think of comfort food, I think of food that brings me comfort. Pretty simple. Usually, those foods come from comfortable, safe memories. But in some cases it is the food acting as a comfort in response to a very uncomfortable and solitary experience. When I think of my memories with my buddies Ben and Jerry I am flooded with moments of self care. And not self care in the way of a yoga class, or an extra glass of water – I am talking some serious exercises in psychological self-soothing after particularly trying or traumatic events. Now I won’t get into these events because they are mine and not for the internet. However, I can tell you that they all end in a puffy-eyed, emotionally fatigued Tash sitting on the couch with a joint and a spoon. These are often accompanied by some stupid TV and mental mantras to the effect of “You are alive. You are okay.”

Through this process I have realized how much this skill – self-soothing, or being able to be my sole comfort in times of emotional crisis, is important to me. Turns out a pint of ice cream has a lot more significance than I had thought before this seminar.

Oh, the power of food.