Mar 25

Ode to a Dental Hygienist, by Earnest A. Hooton (1887-1954)

Hygienist, in your dental chair
I sit without a single care
Except when tickled by your hair.
I know that when you grab the drills
I need not fear the pain that kills.
You merely make my molars clean
With pumice doped with wintergreen.
So I lean back in calm reflection,
With close-up views of your complexion,
And taste the flavor of your thumbs
While you massage my flabby gums.
To me no woman can be smarter
Than she who scales away my tarter,
And none more fitted for my bride
Than one who knows me from inside.
At least as far as she has gotten
She sees how much of me is rotten.

NOTE:
Originally delivered as part of a speech to the 1942 graduating class of Dental Hygienists from the Forsyth Dental Infirmary in Boston.

6 comments so far

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    I used this poem for speech class in 1975 along with one about psychoanalysis; lost the copy long go it was nice to find it here.

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