Category Archives: Friends – Spirit

The Ease of Hitchhiking

“I think it’s time to look for a bus.”

I drop the one-too-many-times-folded cardboard sign to my side. It reads “PORTO” in thickly-penciled letters.

The sun in Portugal was vicious, unrelenting in the cloudless sky. After walking the last twenty kilometers into Santiago, and then proceeding to hitchhike south into Portugal, my skin had been baked like tanned leather.
We were filthy. Dirt from the construction site we stood alongside caked with sweat on our faces. Our hair was ratty and matted; I hid mine beneath a grey cap I had acquired somewhere near Pondevedra. We stunk of several kinds of smoke, gasoline, and pilgrim funk. Evening commuters mostly looked scornfully at our motley crew or pretended not to notice us entirely. No one was going to give us a ride.

When Agnieszka and Hannah decided that we would hitchhike to Portugal, I was reluctant but enthused. This small town boy had never had a problem getting from A to B, and had certainly never needed to hitch. I imagined scoring a snappy pickup from a smiley, cookiecutter family in their caravan, on their way to the same sandy beach. They would have been very happy to help pilgrims in need. They would feed us and offer us sweating beers in the pounding sun. We would graciously accept and ride the rainbow all the way to Porto, laughing and singing ‘Kumbaya’. Wrong.

We had walked more than an hour to the outer rim of Santiago de Compostela before we caught our first ride. Miguel and his travel companion had made a hobby of photographing pilgrims. He enthusiastically offered to take us a little down the line, but only if we struck a few candid-looking poses before his 35mm. We graciously accepted, pretending to stride woefully down the sidewalk, and then packing into the back of his van. We sped south, and I took the time to become a little too familiar with Betty, the monsterous hound who had previously ocuppied the whole back row, but now forced into my lap. We became bonded very quickly, but eventually decided that there was no future for our love. She was a dog, and I am too much of a rambler to be tied down.

Miguel left us on a rocky turnoff on the edge of a nameless pueblo with a warm hug (and kisses for the girls) and his email, so that we could get copies of his pics. In spite of our short love affair, Betty the hound was happy to see me go, so that she could reclaim her row of hairy seats. The trio sped off across a set of traintracks, and again we were stranded.

On the street shoulder, we made a quick picnic, and the girls claimed the cardboard signs. We figured that their good looks and cheerful dispositions would be more attractive to strangers, and that my gruff appearance made me look as though I made a career of piggybacking transportation. So I sat quietly at the shady base of an old oak tree, watching car after car after car fly by. Agnieszka and Hannah would hold each other close and jump waving when an empty van or R.V. rolled around the bend, and then droop, a little lower each time, as the vehicles flew by.

The girls had nearly used up their enthusiasm by the time a beat up compact car veered onto the roadside behind us. We haggled with the two younger men about our destination, threw our bags in the trunk, and shot back onto the road. The passenger, bearded and with heavy gauges stretching his ears, did his best to make conversation in meager English, but eventually gives up and begins rolling a cigarette.

“You smoke joints?” He asks without looking away from his work. He spoke this phrase quite fluently.

“Yes.” Aga quickly replies, seemingly out of reflex.

The driver paid little attention to the white lines along the slithering mountain road. He may have been a rally driver in a past life. His phone rang, and he fished for his cell, and then answered.  I looked to my right, and Aga was staring spacily at me, her eyes wide and unyielding. “Your face is sparkling…” she says, pulling a shiny golden boa from the window behind me and wrapping it around my neck.

As Aga continued to oogle my sparkling complexion, the driver bent the car into a roundabout. The three of us were sandwiched together as he pounded the throttle, cackling madly like a seagull. At this point, I thought to myself:
‘Sometimes people die hitchhiking…no….not you…”

We negotiated hurriedly to be dropped off at the nearest bus stop. The car sped off, throwing rocks down the road behind us. Hannah, Aga and myself stagger to the steps of the bus stop. We collapse, dry mouthed, hungry, and happy to be alive.

We took turns sneaking into the bus station to use the bathroom, and had a quick snack on the steps. As we rested, a pair of taxis took turns shuttling away folks who arrived at the station. Each time they returned, they eyed us.
“We know you want a ride…” They said without words.
 No, we were NOT going to take a taxi. Thats too safe. Apparently we prefered to roll the dice.

Again we found ourselves poised on the roadside. This time we were lucky enough to be in the shade of a decaying building. Its windows were boarded, leaving the sills available to be used as seats for tired hitchhikers. We took turns holding the signs this time. Our last adventure had left the girls drooping a bit, and myself more so. After another hour, José came to something I will reluctantly call our “rescue”.

He stopped his white panel van in the middle of the road in front of us. Traffic immediately began to pile up as we exchanged the now familiar netogiations.
“Porto? No? Where? WHERE?”
*Insert nervous glances at one another*
“Okay sure!”

I try the sliding side door. The handle moves but the door doesn’t so much as flinch. José reaches back and tries from the inside. Nothing. Traffic now extends around the corner, and our savior climbs into the back of the van and begins kicking the door. The whole van is now shaking as he pounds hopelessly over and over. I quickly realize that the side of the van is caved in and scraped over with caution-yellow paint, as if José had run into something.

I look back to Aga and Hannah who are equally enthralled and completely speachless. I hope that one of them will finally wave our savior off and wait for the next ride. Neither of them do anything.

José now leaps out of the van and rounds to the back as horns begin blaring. He swings open the rear doors, revealing a nest of clutter, and motions for us to climb in and over the back seats.

“Dont you want to sit in the front?” Agnieszka asks, grabbing my arm as I toss my back into the van.

“No, that’s fine! You can have it.” I reply all too quickly, my mind still hazy from our previous generous hosts.

So the pilgrims climb into the back of the dirty demolition van with the greasy-haired Samaritan.

As we pull off, I realize my mistake. Aga sits quietly in the front, next to José. She stares out the passenger window, and José stares at her, only taking safety glances back at the road. He stares her up and down, chewing his lip.

I wonder if this guy is actually a psycho. We crawled into his van, he got us.

On the floor I spot a wrench I could use to disbatch José of his consciousness should he make an unsavory move. The same wrench would work fine for making an exit in the window of the conviently jammed door. If GreaseBall tried something, I was ready.

Of course, I was wrong. He drove us for almost an hour without incident, far down the line, and left us safely at an underpass. We all released a stale breath as the van pulled away.

What were we doing? How in the hell had I let myself wind up  just across the Portuguese boarder, in fading daylight, with no sense of direction or guarentee of a bed come sundown.

Again we plopped down on the side of the south-bearing highway ramp. Construction had torn most of the road up, creating a bottleneck for departing traffic. I finished the last of my water. My phone was almost dead.

The sun in Portugal was vicious, unrelenting in the cloudless sky. After walking the last twenty kilometers into Santiago, and then proceeding to hitchhike south into Portugal, my skin had been baked like tanned leather.
We were filthy. Dirt from the construction site we stood alongside caked with sweat on our faces. Our hair was ratty and matted; I hid mine beneath a grey cap I had acquired somewhere near Pondevedra. We stunk of several kinds of smoke, gasoline, and pilgrim funk. Evening commuters mostly looked scornfully at our motley crew or pretended not to notice us entirely. No one was going to give us a ride.

“I think its time to look for a bus.”

I picked up my sign, slung my backpack over my shoulder, and turned my back to the traffic. I had no idea where to catch a bus in this town, but there were no other options. The girls had begun to collect their things as a shiny black car pulled up next to us in the traffic. The driver rolled down the passenger window, and crisp, conditioned air poured out. The driver, a beautiful woman with floeing black curls smiled out at my companions and I.

“You are going to Braga? Hop in.” She said in near-perfect English.

Sebastian Says

“My panties?” Sebastian asks as I fish into my freshly dried sleeping bag-liner for a mysterious ball-of-something.

I chuckle under my breath at what I thought was a joke.

Standing at about 6’4, Sebastian the young German man does not crack a smile.

I pull from the liner a large pair of pinstriped boxers and hold them up for his examination.

“Oh good, my panties.”

He nods politely and takes his undergarments, retreating to his bunk without so much as a giggle.

“Sebastian, you know that they aren’t called panties, right?” I ask him later at dinner. He is hunched over a bowl of now-steaming canned stew.

“Yes, they are my panties. What do YOU call them?”

“Underwear…maybe boxers in this case.”

He shakes his head dismissively, plunging his spoon into a chunk of potato.

Soon after he finishes, Ida and I offer him some of a salad of which we made too much. We plate a generous helping for him, and he goes to work.

“STICK TO THE PLAN!” Sebastian slams his hands down on the table, and then continues munching at his gratis leafy greens. Ida chokes on her pesto pasta and I almost spit my wine into the floor, Sebastian continues to eat, looking curiously at the two of us, fighting fits of laughter.

For desert, I have my Milka Cookies, like always. In Ida and Sebastian’s company I have put down maybe six or seven tubes of them.

“You love those cookies SO HARD.” Sebastian observes.

After clearing tears from my eyes and NOT choking on my postre, I try to explain why Ida and I continually crack up at his statements. He does not understand, nor does he seem to care. Not everything translates.

I wonder how many times I have tried to find the nearest ATM and accidentally asked where I can have a doorknob resoled.

I met Sebastian one last time in Sobrado, where a monastery has stood for nearly a millennium. The facade of the church was carved granite, worn to many tones of grey, brown, and green. Ivy grew without hinderance up the twin bell towers, where colonies of pidgens had made thair homes. The building was a stark contrast from the grandiose presence of most popular Spanish Cathedrals. I had spent all afternoon laying atop a stone wall in it’s shadow.

“What did you think?” I asked him over a grilled chicken breast.

“Sick shit.” He replied, grinning proudly at his English proficiency.

Future Prospects

“I think you would make a great hospitalero!” Alaina continued to pump me up as we made our way up a small grass path along the hillside. In our conversation, we had fallen a bit behind the group of pilgrims marching to catch the sunset over Vega’s beach.

“That would be incredible! My Spanish is a bit lacking but it would be amazing to be here in Asturias, by the ocean and mountains, meeting all the people that pass through.” I did my best to keep up while still concealing my gimpiness. The three course meal that Alaina and fellow host Theresa had just fed us didnt help my speed much either.

“Leave me your email in the morning, and I will tell Marina about you. She would love to have you, I’m sure.”

That afternoon, on my way down into Vega from the countryside, I had been joking to myself. “Dude, you’ll probably get there, to the only albergue for the next fifteen k, and that bitch’ll be full!” I said to no-one but myself, laughing aloud. After nother forty-something day under a cloudless sky, I had lost a few of my marbles.

Sure enough, I limped my way to the stoop of Albergue Tu Casa to find a little white sign hanging from the railing.

“COMPLETO.
FULL.”

“Full?” I asked the women on the porch (who turned out to be Alaina and Theresa) and they nodded. I stood in the middle of the street and fell into a fit of laughter, and the two women joined, enjoying the spectacle of the sun-baked, fluffy-headed, damn-near-disabled pilgrim loosing his last grips on sanity.

After a while of giggling and rambling incoherently to each other, they welcomed me onto the porch, and sat me down in front of a pitcher of cold lemon-water.

“Maybe we have…’emergency bed”…” one of them said.

“Yes…’emergency bed”.

“If you let me, I will sleep right here.” I direct my finger down to the warm taracotta tiles, and they both laugh as if I had just told a funny joke.

The emergency bed turned out to be just another top bunk, only without a ladder and a mattress that was ever-so-slightly less comfy than the others. They usually didnt offer it out, but they did to me.

“I am trying to get my own albergue. I have done the paperwork, I will know if I get it later this week.” Alaina told me as we sat with Theresa and my fellow pilgrims on a little patch of grass overlooking the beach.
“If I get it, I could surely use your help.”

I have been checking my email twice a day since I left Vega, and today I recieved something worth reading:
“hola August
I hear nice words about your presence here…
Tell me at what time you want be hospitaliero…
Your heart will know the right moment… This year or next?

Abrazos fuerte
Marina the guardian of ‘tu casa'”

The email reads like it had been spit out by Google Translate, but thats alright. Abrazos Fuerte translates to strong hugs, and ones from someone I am yet to meet.

On El Camino, every day holds so many opportunities. You will meet warm people, recieve beautiful charity, make unique friends, and maybe be given a new opportunity much bigger than yourself.

Taking the High Road

“Este camino es NO BUENO.”

The pear shaped hospitalero repeated her warning for the third time. Her Vienna-Sausage-like finger tapped heavily on the crudely scaled map, again and again on the mountain route. She insisted that her guests use the new Camino, which tentatively followed a small highway around the base of tomorrow’s mountains. The old Camino followed the spine of a mountain ridge, aggressively up out of town, arcing over Asturian farmland, and quickly descended back to civilization about twenty kilometers later.

The raw flesh on my toes and the consistent throbbing of my feet said that maybe tomorrow’s 40k would be better done without a mountain in the middle

I nodded with a stiff neck, pushing a polite smile and agreeing to go her way.

“Si, si, vale, claro. Nuevo Camino.”

I can admit with no shame whatsoever that I lied.

The next morning I fought my way up the trails of crumbling limestone, closed in by invasive eucalyptus forest on both sides. An hour in, I was sweating for the first time in 600 kilometers. Perhaps the plump woman and her persistent finger were right.

Eventually the forest gave way, and I emerged shirtless and in shorts high above the surrounding country. To my left and right the earth fell away and in front of me it only rose.

Standing with my face towards the sun, I threw back my arms and head.

“WAAAAAAYYYOOOOUUUUUUUU!”

My howl was returned to me by the mountains, and soon the local farm dogs joined my comotion.

I pushed on up the ridge, gaining ever more altitude, following a path of shifty rock. Far below, between mountains and sea, the N-630-something highway slithered along. Most of my companions from the previous evening had taken that way. Surely they were congested by the hot pavement, and ever wary of lorries and little hatchbacks threatening to mow them down. The pavement also makes for some considerably tired pies.

The further I pressed into the sky, the more often I found myself looking in either direction, and smiling for no reason in particular.

The last of a persistent morning dew clung to the sagebrush lining the trail. Each little droplet refracted a tiny rainbow up at me. In a soft breeze, needles of white pines tickled each other. This thought made me giggle aloud.

“It’s quite a unique view up there. I would stay for a while.”

A gruffy man with a longbow in his passenger seat and a dog in the back had stopped along the road to advise me to change my course. Apparently a local farmer had added a few fletchas of his own to keep pilgrims away from his fields. The route led down the road to the main highway. I was pointed up a logging road, a steep one.

Before advancing I made sure to cross off the grumpy farmer’s arrows with a tube of red lipstick that Anne Dominguez left in my bag. (Sorry Anne, you’ll thank me later.)

Again, up, for another hour, up up up.

When I finally reached the pinnacle of the ridge, I took the man’s advice. I don’t usually take breaks, but here it was mandatory. To East and West the coast was written like sloppy handwriting; from beaches to walls of cliffs. Silent little waves continuously reappeared, from nothing, to breaking whitewater, into sand. The gummy bears in my sack of nuts were just icing on the mountaintop.

When in doubt, take the high road. When you get there, let rip your best mountain call, and give in to the urge to stay awhile.

Warm People and Cold Rain

Just as hastily as my paella had been assembled it’s plate, I had left it, ten bucks folded neatly and tucked beneath the edge of a chipped porcelain corner. The Euro note was more than sufficient to cover the meal, and I hoped it was sufficient to pay for my waste. The overdone rice and juvenile prawns had failed to hold my attention as thunder had begun to growl beyond the horizon. As I quietly slipped out of the Basque watering-hole, I imagined the insult that the just-barely-kind-enough waitress would suffer. She’d likely snatch the plate from the table, scoffing at the other pilgrims I had left in my wake, and proceed to complain about the incompetence of foreigners to the heavy men at the bar who had been shamelessly staring at me since my arrival. I got around the block as quickly as I could.

Thunderstorms had always been a highlight of summers near the Gulf coast. Energetic cumulonimbus clouds had brought me to press my nose to the window of a car or home. More often than not, I left shelter far behind. Warm, dry safety of the indoors was exchanged for a shivering, windblown exposure.

“What on Earth were you doing out there?” my mother would ask upon my dripping return.

“I wanted to feel the storm!” my reply was always charged with enthusiasm.

Back to the albergue I raced, my eyes wide and turned above the tops of ravena palms that lined Pobeña’s streets. Reaching the stoop, I settled in for a brilliant plasmic display alongside a pair of gypsy-esque women.

The storm moved closer, and one of the gypsies rose, and soon returned with her boots, raincoat, and a covered ukulele.
“‘’Vant to go for a ‘valk?”

“Yes.” Of course I did.

Sockless in my sneakers, bare in my shorts, rain coursing down the back of my neck, I followed the German Gypsy woman up the side of the nearest mountain. Her hair was shaved close to her head on both sides, and wrapped in a blue scarf. Her thin cotton pants, already soaked, swayed with each step and looked similar to trousers in which one might find a clown (I later learned that she had just recently left a circus to come to Spain.)

“I come dis vay to see know nature.” She calls back me, referring to the Northern Camino.

“Well you’re about to see some serious shit.” I say to myself, pushing our pace toward the mountaintop.

Following a hedge of brush to the hillcrest. The not-so-distant beach of La Arena struggled to be seen through the downpour. With each crash of thunder we would both jump, and grin toothily at each other, glad that we had evaded yet another strike.

Julia (or in German: Eulia) had zero reservations in telling me about herself. She had left home at 15, bounced between housing cooperatives and collectives for several years, and still managed to become the German equivalent of a social worker. Eventually, she left for the circus, favoring clownhood and trapeze. Twice Julia married, never for love, instead she said, to “Fuck the system”. She had helped an African man gain citizenship, and had done the same for a woman to whom I assume she is still married.

Having both grown tired of rocking on our heels in soping pasture, we scaled an old, drooping walnut tree whose branches were sufficient for more storytelling.

She had no money, and been several times harassed by the French authorities as she attempted to hitchhike her way into Spain. Things never improved when patrolmen spotted the patch on the back of her ukulele that read the German equivalent of “Fuck the Police Forever”. Her second night on her Way, she had almost been swept away in her tent when she made camp well inside the flood zone of a growing river. Each tale was punctuated with laughter that shook our roost, dislodging plump drops of water from the canopy above.

After maybe two hours, my sneakers had filled with water, and my stomach cursed me for leaving my rice half-eaten in that musky bar. Light fading and lightning striking ever closer, I suggested that we begin our descent. Julia smiled in agreement, and thanked me with a smile that may have been a hug in better weather.

Ramshackle-dinner ended up being a few hasty handfuls of dried fruits and nuts from the fat sack that I lugged in my pack. Anne D. had brought back my leftovers. I tucked the container amongst Julia’s things, remembering she didn’t have money for food the next day.

Even on the very fringe of society, like Juila’s hitchhiking, stick-it-to-the-man lifestyle, there are remarkable and warm people; especially along El Camino.

The Facelessness of Love

At certain times of our lives, we may find that the thought of certain concepts; pain, fear, loss, success, or love, bring to mind very specific images.   Over time, we begin to associate two mutually exclusive things always with each other.
Often times, when I think of love, a specific face comes to mind. It is a bright one, and it often warms my from within. But there comes a time when Love and that face that we associate so often with love are no longer related. They grow beneath different suns, and evolve far apart as our lives progress.

But here we learn, or remember for the first time in a long time, that love has no face. Ask most people what love is, and you will probably watch them squirm as they attempt to assemble a reasonable definition. Love has no face. It lives within all things, can be produced from nothing, and belongs to no one. It flows through the ether of the universe freely, and it is always in abundance for those who can facilitate it. Love has no face. It has no identity. Love is all things, and all things can love, and can be loved. The loss of one love is not a loss, merely a change, from one recipient of attention to another. Not a loss, but a change. To ‘loose’ a love is only an opportunity to find love elsewhere; all around, flowing constantly from inumerable directions, and radiating from a location deep within that has no origin.

In the past, this reality has presented itself to me under sparkling sunlight, adjascent and immersed in glittering oceans, and amongst the company of snow-covered monoliths. Some of the most tumultous periods of my life have seen themselves settled in these settings. The sharpest pains have been quelled in the company of myself, and the green grasses of mountain meadows.
Walking through the countrysides of Basque and Riojan Spain has reiterated said truths. In these past weeks, when the heart and soul has been under great stress, forced to face painful truths, and devoured by unfamiliar pain, I take to my feet. Whether beneath frigid rain, biting wind, or glowing sun; walking has helped. Many mornings I have left a small, sleeping city, feeling as though only a few steps would bring me to crumble under the weight of my own thoughts. I walk slow at first, absorbed, swimming, drowning. By the edge of the city my legs are ready, and I drive myself into the countryside. Unimportant is the number of fellow pilgrims on the trail at any given time, because I am in good company. In what first seems to be solitide, I remember my companions along any trail. The beautiful trees that hum in a cold wind, and the symphonic songbirds that call them home are familiar friends, even this far from home. The rolling hills, lush in a thriving emerald green, sometimes brings a smile to my face, especially when the morning dew sparkles like distant stars. Some days I am lucky enough to be reminded that Mother Sun always watches over me, and to her I can confess all my fears and throbbing pain. As I walk, I remember that I need not be distressed as to whether a river of love flows between myself and a single other transient being, because love is not in shortage. I love the ground that holds my weight. I love all that is green and brown, trees and grass and earth, and especially the vibrant gifts that are flowers. I so deeply love the birds that serenade us as we wake or walk or drift off to sleep in the grass. I remember that These things, these places, remind me of how much love I have to give, and then I remember that I too love myself. I remember how silly it is to allow myself to hurt for something that cannot be touched, and that those wounds heal as soon as I tell them to.
The ever-present tempest of love that we occupy is sometimes so easy to forget. Never feel as though you are deprived of love, because you need not recieve or give it. Love always. Love infinitely.