Terra Heatherly-Norton

5/18/15

Memoir Project

My roommate Katie is 1/4^th Korean; her grandmother was raised in South Korea and moved to America around the age of 30 after a hard life. Sang Sun was born in the early 1940’s in Japan. She is the youngest of four siblings, one sister three brothers. Their names do not have American translations but Sang Sun wrote them out for me in Korean, I couldn’t transfer the symbols on the computer (hand written on page…. The American portion of Katie’s family refers to them as “big sister (15 years older), Japan Uncle (4 years older), LA Uncle (3 years older), and Hajong’s dad (2 years older).

From 1910- to 1945 Korea was under Japanese rule, after the atomic bomb was dropped in Hiroshima and Nagasaki Japan the end of WWII was set in motion, the Japanese were forced to surrendered the territory ending their 35-year occupation. Anna and her family moved from Japan to Korea around the time or just before the shift in leadership. While Anna did not mention this I think it was a deliberate move on her parents part.

After Korea’s liberation the country scrambled to establish government, the Japanese had regulated their import/export economy and instituted national health care. With the population of Korea doubling throughout Japans occupation Koreas, specifically South Koreas industrial economy was booming but lacked structure with the liberation. Korea had barely any sense of cultural identity at this point, the Japanese gave the Koreans new Japanese names and they were required to do the same when naming their children. They were also required to speak Japanese.

When Japan surrendered the Korean territory the Soviet Union and the United states agreed to temporarily occupy Korea to help establish government. The Soviet Union occupied the north and the U.S occupied the south. With tensions running high between Russia and the U.S North and South Korea lacked unity and between 1945-1947 they each established separate governments. The North developed into communism under the influence of the Soviet Union and the South developed a fairly democratic system under the influence of the U.S government. Although South Korea was hypothetically independent their government was still largely controlled by the U.S military, in fact the first president the country elected Lyuh Woon-Hyung was forced the step down from office because of extreme pressure from the United States Military Forces.

I asked Katie to give me her take on Korean Culture, “ It’s very private, and nobody really knows what’s going on in other peoples families not really. It’s all about keeping up the image. The Korean idea of successes is very close minded it’s like doctor or lawyer, when I told my grandma I wanted to be an organic famer she looked at me like I was crazy. Why would I want to go to college for something the poor do for a living back in her country? In her mind you go to school so you don’t have to do that. Korean woman also gossip a lot, I suppose like most woman but it’s very hushed. Everyone is always trying to impress each other with what their children/grandchildren are doing. There’s a lot of pressure growing up in that environment they (Anna’s children) were pushed hard growing up. My mom was a straight A student and her brother went to Stanford these kids spent their whole live striving for my grandmas approval it can be really hardcore growing up in a Korean house hold.

Sang Sun was born into a Buddhist family but found Christianity in her early teens, when she was baptized later in life the Christian name given to her was Anna and is what she prefers to be referred to as. Anna’s mother was born and raised in South Korea but her Dad was born in Japan like herself. Anna and her family moved from Japan to South Korean when she was about four. She grew up in a large house in Massa, which is in the southwestern corner of South Korea. Anna describes her family as “very high class, we had lots of power, my father; Katie’s great grandfather was very powerful we had many slaves.” She reflects on the good fortune her family was experiencing at this time, “We had a beautiful house full of glass windows lots of food and room to play.”

“In Korean culture image is everything, my grandma will kind of tell you about the bad stuff but mostly good things. They paint a rosy picture you aren’t supposed to share your problems it’s bad form.”

–Katie Sibley

Around the age of seven Anna’s dad gambled their money away in an effort to keep up appearances at the casino. About a year later Anna was forced to stop attending elementary school, it is not free in Korea and girls had to pay a substantial amount more because educating women was not considered a priority. At age 1o during a very warm summer on June 25^th 1950 the Korean War started. “We were so hungry I tell you.” Anna sighs.

As the Soviet Union plotted to take over Asia, Anna ad her family endured extreme struggles, their small village was now flooded with North Korean refuges and resources was scarce. She describes to me the meal she used to eat everyday as we are seated at an all you can eat buffet in south Tacoma. “We would take a small handful of rice not much at all, then we would grind it up and bowl of hot water.” This created a paste that most Koreans survived off of during the war. Anna’s husband looks up for the first time during the interview, “They used to have the GI’s come through the villages and they would put a big pot of boiling water in the middle of a field and give them clean water to make the paste, isn’t that right? “

“Yes because of all the North Korean refugees,” Anna explains placing a hand on her husbands shoulder. “ My mother had a big heart she would also boil water and make a pot of soup (rice paste) for everyone she could. The line was always so long we ran out fast, we were also very poor but it was important to share what we had. I remember hearing pregnant women talking about how they walked from north to south and found this refugee camp to have their babies. They wanted them to be South Korean citizens so they had a good life.”

About six months after the war started a drought that lasted three years ensued and plunged Anna’s family into an even worse financial situation than they were already in. Anna shakes her head sadly as she thinks of this hard time in her life, “I was always hungry growing up.” Anna and her mother would share what little resources they had with the refuges and they were always incredibly grateful. Even though Anna’s family did not have much to spare Anna’s mother thought it was important to help whenever they could, “North Korea is out sister and out sister is hurting, you always help your family” – Anna quoting her mother.

They also ran a pharmacy out of their home, with first aid and child birthing assistance Anna and her mother stitched up the locals, made simple remedies, and created pain pills to sell cheaply to the refuges and surrounding village. Anna tells me she assisted her mother delivering babies in the refuge camps often and the first time she deliver one on her own was age 12. Home remedies are an important part of Korean culture, natural anti-biotic recipes and opiate infused powders were the base of most in house pharmacies. With influences from Chinese and Japanese culture South Korean natural medicine was regarded highly in Asia.

Anna remembers one specific lady, a refuge from North Korea; she stumbled into their pharmacy begging for assistance with the birth of her child. After the birth the mother asked Anna’s mom to take care of the little boy for a couple of weeks and that she would be “right back.”

“She never came back,” Anna concludes sadly. “My family adopted him and we raised him until he was 15, he was a troubled child stole from my mom and always fighting it was very difficult. Many ears later he called asking my mother for cash he thought his mom had left him, but she was a refuge he didn’t have anything.” Anna speculates the mother fled to Japan where she had mentioned an old boyfriend lived. Most women could barely take care of themselves and abandoning babies to avoid the financial burden was a common practice.

From what I could gather it seems that Anna’s dad was not employed for many years but continued to gamble, a common problem with the entitled men of Korea. Anna’s brothers were all attending school and barely affording it, Anna longed for an education and at the age of 14 she started attending night school. She would clean after the end of day classes then after attend night school classes, it was the only way she could afford to go. This was after she had already done her house chores gone to church and worked in her mother’s pharmacy all day. “Sometimes I was so starving I couldn’t focus, couldn’t complete my school work. I didn’t have anything to keep me going you can not afford to eat without an education but you cannot learn on an empty stomach.”

“My teachers knew I was very poor they saw me working before class, a few of them were even customers at my mothers pharmacy and they would see me working there in the mornings as well.” Anna smiles and gets a glassy look in her eye as she reflects on the memories of her educators. “One time my favorite writing teacher invited me to her house on a weekend afternoon. When I arrived there was a big beautiful bowl of white rice waiting on the table, it had just been made steaming the house up with its sweet smell. Surrounding the rice were plates of fruits and meets, I remember thinking at the time I’ve never seen this much food in my whole life.” Anna’s face turns solemn, “My teacher never said anything but she must of known I couldn’t complete my school work because I was so hungry. She fed me and after looked at me very seriously and said, “now run along and do your homework.” That night I completed everything due for the next several weeks. I was so full of energy and life I remember that night, so bright.”

Anna’s teacher probably did not express direct concern but instead surprised her with a meal because it is considered rude to accept charity in Korean culture. They are full of pride and all about projecting an externally pleasing image. It was the only way Anna could deem it socially acceptable to eat the meal. “I think of her often.” She states simply as her eyes mist up.

“My Grandmother was beautiful growing up, like if you look at pictures of her its crazy, classic Korean beauty.” –KS

I asked Anna about any romances she had growing up, although she never had a boyfriend until her early twenties, Anna was pursued often. “ Oh boys loved me, they would take a piece of paper then cut their finger and write ‘I love you’ in blood, very honorable way to court a Korean woman.” Katie’s head pops up at this, “THEY DID THAT MORE THAN ONCE?? I thought it was just the one guy that did that for you grandma?” Anna smiles slyly and holds up three fingers. “Three different guys did that for you! That’s crazy grandma I didn’t know that, you were hot stuff!” We all chuckle at this and I notice Katie’s grandpa shaking his head lovingly towards Anna. “That’s my favorite story,” Katie states beaming at her grandparents.

Although Anna did not talk about it Katie’s mom informally told Katie and I a vague several weeks prior as we drove around her neighborhood in Whidbey Island. “She ran away from home at some point in her twenties, she never talked about it much but from what I could get out of her she ran away and found work at a G.I. camp on the outskirts of her city. She disagreed with family’s religious beliefs, she started going to the Christian Church around age 12 and by early adulthood had been baptized in secret and committed fully to Jesus. I think that was her main motivation for leaving, she loves her family but in her eyes they were sinners.”

“We think that’s where she met her first husband but we aren’t completely sure it’s either when she was working at the G.I. camp or when they were doing handouts in her village she never specifies.” –KS

“Your grandfather was so handsome,” Anna smiles addressing Katie. “I never saw someone as handsome as him, have you ever seen blue eyes that smile? He had smiling eyes and dark black hair. First time I saw him he said to me “Will you marry me? I don’t owe anyone money.” Now I didn’t know what to say and oh, he was begging me, “I don’t owe anybody any money will you marry me oh please?” I said yes and we lived together in Sole for a while then moved to America after Sophia was born.

In 1971 Anna, her one-year-old daughter Sophia, and her husband Robert moved back to Robert’s home Massachusetts. Shortly after they in order to move farther away from Roberts parents the couple moved to Rome New York where Anna’s second child Ana was born. (“She changed it because she wanted to be different she’s one of those people.” –KS) In 1973 they moved to Dayton Ohio and lived on the military base. Robert went back to serve in Asia and Anna worked on base as a lunch lady; it was her first experience feeding people and where she found her passion. “There were so many hungry soldiers in training, and their beautiful families. I loved feeding them because I knew I was giving them what they needed to succeed, you can’t do anything if your hungry it consumes you.”

Anna’s third child, and first son Edward was born five months after Robert left in April of 1974. At this time Anna was experiencing sever harassment from the counties local KKK organization. It started with threatening phone calls and eggs being thrown at their house in passing. But soon it escalated, their car was spray painted with racial slurs at one point they even burnt a crop circle in the front yard. “I remember very vaguely the phone ringing often,” Sophia reflects I was only four or so at the time but I remember looking out the window and wondering why someone would burn a circle in our grass. It seemed so silly to me, it looked like one of my building blocks.”

Robert cut his service short and returned home a few weeks after Ed was born to protect his family from the racists in town. Being a white man Robert was the only thing that could truly keep the family safe. But after the crop circle the family had enough, they packed up and moved to a Hawaiian military base the summer of 1975. They lived there happily until 1977, Anna reflected on their short time in Hawaii fondly; it was so warm felt like a permanent vacation. The children loved it, they were always in the water like little fishes.”

In the winter of 1977 Robert was transferred to the Fort Lewis military base in Lakewood Washington. Anna returned to working as a lunch lady now that all of her kids were old enough to attend school and eventually left the base and became a lunch lady at the local middle school. “I love feeding the children,” Anna says airily, “the look on their faces every morning, having a good meal before school and for lunch. Many of the children that attended the middle school in Lakewood were very poor and relied on free breakfast and lunch provided by the school district. “I relate to these kids a lot, I wish there would have been free lunch at my school this could have saved lives in Korea. I am very proud to be a lunch lady.” Anna continued to work as a lunch lady in middle schools and high schools around the Tacoma/Lakewood area until five years ago when she finally retired.

In 1986 Anna’s husband died of a heart attack while mowing their lawn. Anna’s daughter Sophia found him in the yard, “It was so random,” Sophie states, rather nonchalant about it now. I remember hearing the lawn mower running but when I looked out the window I didn’t see my dad.” Anna now supported her self and three kids on the salary of a public school lunch lady. As previously mentioned Anna pushed her kids hard to succeed, she picked up extra shifts and stated working part time in the evenings as a janitor so her kids could afford their extra curricular activities. All of her kids had very good grades but especially Sophia, “She was a star pupil!” Anna states proudly, “she play sports and have a part time job, and when she sang? It was beautiful! She is so smart that one always achieving.”

In 1993 Sophia met her second husband Jeff, they met at church and he asked if she wanted to “go somewhere and talk” with him. “He was always following me around, like a little puppy!” Anna laughs and I see Jeff crack a small smile. “I just wanted a woman with good religious values ya know? A classy woman to spend the rest of my life with. Anna and Jeff (while talking over each other) told me the story of their first date. There was lots of debate about how the story goes exactly but the summarized version is Jeff pined after Anna for a few weeks before asking her out, she would notice him checking her out during sermons though Jeff swears he wasn’t. He finally asked her after church one day if she anted to go on a walk with him. They went down to the docks and watched the sun set. Jeff is about 15 years younger than Anna, “I said to him I am an old lady! To old for you, you don’t want to be with me.” Anna says shaking her hands as she reenacts the scene. “And I said I didn’t care,” Jeff rumbles in his deep stern voice. “I told her that I was going to marry her if it was the last thing I did.” He says this in such a matter of fact way, I could almost see him saying those words to Anna in the exact same way. “I told him no way I’m too old, but he kept saying he didn’t care, it wasn’t a reason, I eventually agreed to marry him. As they walked back from the dock Jeff accidentally dropped Anna’s car keys into the water. “He was so embarrassed,” Anna giggles, “we had a local fisherman help us get them back.” I sneak a peak and Jeff at this point trying to gauge his reaction without letting him know I’m looking. I see a pink tinge traveling from the brim of his nose, across his cheeks and up to the tip of his ears. Jeff is blushing, and he is blushing hard.

Anna and Jeff moved in together shortly after that night. With Anna’s children either in college or on their own she quickly filled her time by volunteering at her local church. Along with her lunch lady job and church activates Anna became an active and respected member of her community. She showers her grandchildren with affection, keeping a stock of Costco snacks for Katie to take back to college just incase she shows up. Her fierce love for her family and happy disposition is only a couple of Anna’s amazing qualities. The struggles she faced became lessons she learned and applied her unique knowledge later in life. As she pushed herself to support her kids as a single mom for most of their teen years one can only imagine the difficulties Anna endured. But her hard work set an amazing example for her kids ensuring their success. While I can never truly understand Anna I feel as though I got a glimpse into her interesting past not many get to see.