Terra Heatherly-Norton

5/13/15

“Suffering the prolongation of a spiritual shock that has come from without, keeps aspiring to change its form; one hopes to be able to dispel it by making plans, by seeking information, one wants it to pass through its countless metamorphoses, for this requires less courage than keeping our suffering intact.”      -Pg 578  The Captive & the Fugitive

In this part of the book Marcel is coming to terms with the fact that he has been left by Albertine, he observes the fact that it must have been premeditated because she took wrapping paper from his bedroom the night before. He is faced with an overwhelming amount of factual evidence that their  demise was inevitable.

“…from the day when she had ceased to kiss me, she had gone about as though tormented by a devil, stiffly erect, unbending, saying the simplest things in a mournful voice, slow in her movements, never smiling.” -Pg 574

She had shunned him weeks before she had left, Proust is reflecting on this memory as the pivotal moment Albertine decided she was going to leave him. He was conscious of it yet Proust’s ego was to large to show anything but indifference to her extreme unhappiness. To suffer is a universal concept Proust describes it so eloquently as a “spiritual shock” it leaves the unmistakable impression of a deep pain, Proust is experiencing rejection in its purest form. His wife, the woman while he did not treat her well, he hypothetically loved, the one who new him the best; took in all he had to offer her and packed her stuff up creeped out before he woke up and possibly never comes back? ( I haven’t gotten that far yet.)

Proust basically names off common things people with depression do to try and cope/cure it, seek information, make plans for the future, occupy your time. But he thinks that that is weak and it “requires courage” to keep ones “suffering intact.” This I interpreted as Proust justifying ways to wallow in his own self pity. But he is also pressuring himself to keep a cool exterior and remain to seem unaffected by Albertines sudden departure although he literally describes feeling like he’s dying inside.

My favorite part of this passage is how Proust describes the process of grief as “to pass through its countless metamorphoses.” I took this as Proust describing not only describing the stages of grief but also the way humans transfer their suffering from one thing to another; eternally miserable but justifying their misery in different ways as time goes by. It changes from one thing to another like the absence of his wife to the absence of his mothers goodnight kiss. He is stuck in his own whirl pool of misery and can not escape.