While at evergreen and before my general outlook has been pretty negative. I always thought: oh no, I can’t get into a good college, I have to feel bad because I am suppose to. Winter quarter at Evergreen was one of my biggest trails of maximum suffering. I had barely any social life, I did minimum school work and had minimum things. While on the camino I have decided that I am over it. I am going home and living with my friends. I am going to community college so I can go somewhere where I actually want to. In a way the camino was like a suffering version of heroin. It was real quick and very intense. I spent weeks by myself with no people and no good food. I was in lots of pain every step I took. If the hostels didn’t have blankets I would sleep in the cold. I learned my suffering must end as soon as I get home. The only gains I make from this suffering is it distracts me from the fact that I am not satisfied with my life. These distractions are also just like heroin. They are a temporary fix to a problem. The camino taught me it’s time to do what I want and it’s not going to be easy. The walk was not easy but I completed it. It was only the first step though. The camino was mindless and robotic to complete but my future education won’t be. It will be harder, but unlike the camino, I will be surrounded by much more joy. I would like to believe that this joy will make the more studious work easier done. On the other hand, I learned a lot about religion. I had thought about becoming jewish while I walked. I listened to the old testament for hours a day, it was a good story but I did not agree with a lot that was said. It was too outlandish. For example, when the jews pray to an ox, God is so mad that he wants to kill all the jews. Moses has to convince him to not murder his beloved people. I decided I did not want to become jewish so I read an introduction to the Koran. Turns out I disagree with the Koran even more than the old testament. While on the camino, a catholic pilgrimage, I tried to dip my toes into two different religious. I realized neither were for me.