F ~ Poem
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Author Archives: grigab10
F ~ Poem
Internal pain
a constant constriction
positioned where I cannot see
where I cannot know
completely
which leades to hyper-awareness, constant thought
and question focused inward
I feel week
I feel confused
I am sensitive
and vulnerable.
I want so badly to curl up
yet I am restricted to my right side.
I wonder what is festering of growing inside of me,
cells forming,
impossible life?
Bacteria, pain
In this moment I do not feel whole
let me say that the physical pain is not excruciating or unbearable but the mental effects are deafening.
F ~ Poem
Soil Sun and Sleep are my Holy Words
A whispered rush of blows
echo
wind blown tissue paper petals
dissolve is swelling
eddies
this is my keeping of time
where the
unraveling of
lace
measures my months
(I adore that line)
and the forming of rigid ribs tells me that spring is near,
as is the diminishing of my locks.
F ~ Poem
A body of liquid aged to amber, that never slept
yet smelled of dusk
a seeker of sanctuary
now the lengths between where you are and where I stand
is the whisper of wind
letting what remains
be flame
and a quenching sea
F ~ Week 9 Log
May 27th, Monday
1.5 hours connecting with our peer group, reaching out, hugs, tears, and words of wisdom.
3 hours reading The Female Pelvis Anatomy & Exercise by Blandine Calais-Germain, performing the exercises, breathing, moving slowly still working up my body to preform in the next coming days.
I am working through my grief.
May 28th, Tuesday
4 hours of presentations.
3 hours working on my Holdrege paper, organizing, working in edits.
May 29th, Wednesday
3 hours reading The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are used Against Women by Naomi Wolf.
2 hours reading The Naked Woman by Desmond Morris
2 hours reading Vagina: A New Biography by Naomi Wolf
I went for a swim today and saw jellyfish, a beautiful reminder of life.
May 30th, Thursday
4 hours reading The Naked Woman by Desmond Morris, and talking to a friend about evolution. I have been able to connect my study of focus to that of my peers as well, it is a reassuring and pleasant change of pace.
2 hours creating poetry, trying to channel my pain and the pain I have been reading about into a work while the feelings are fresh.
2 hours in the Calculated Poetics class session listening to presentations while I made origami, it truly calmed me.
May 31st, Friday
3 hours reading The Naked Woman by Desmond Morris, I am finding this book to be one of my favorites because of it’s evolutionary lens.
2 hours working on the Holdredge paper, organizing ideas and formatting.
June 1st, Saturday
3 hours reading reading The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are used Against Women by Naomi Wolf.
2 hours working with a peer group on the formatting of my final paper, reviewing, sharing information.
3 hours writing poetry, breathing, moving more often.
1 hour reading Write About an Empty Birdcage by Elaina M. Ellis, looking for inspiration.
June 2nd, Sunday
2 hours reading Neuro by Nikolas Rose, conjuring a reverie.
5 hours reading, grabbing words from Cloves and Honey and Bodies of Light by Athena Kildegaard.
Totals
This week: 47.5 hours
Cumulative total: 170 hours
F ~ Week 8 Log
May 20th, Monday
2 hours reading Neuro by Nikolas Rose, conjuring a reverie.
4 hours reading Vagina: A New Biography by Naomi Wolf, reflecting upon my own body, note taking
1 hour reading Body of Wisdom: Women’s Spiritual Power and How it Serves by Hilary Hart
May 21st, Tuesday
4 hours reading The Female Pelvis Anatomy & Exercise by Blandine Calais-Germain
2 hours drawing the female reproductive organs.
May 22nd, Wednesday
2 hours working on the Holdredge paper, organizing ideas and formatting.
May 23rd, Thursday
4 hours reading Vagina: A New Biography by Naomi Wolf, reflecting upon my own body, note taking.
May 24th, Friday
4 hours reading The Naked Woman by Desmond Morris
Received the news at 2 am that my friend had passes away. The start of my body’s grieving process.
May 25th, Saturday
3 hours working on the Holdrege paper, organizing ideas and formatting.
That is all the work I can do at this time. My body feels so very weak.
May 26th, Sunday
I am feeling vulnerable and small. My body does not wish to move.
4 hours working on the Holdredge paper, organizing ideas and formatting.
2 hours reading The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are used Against Women by Naomi Wolf.
2 hours creating poetry, only slightly moving my body, talking with and surrounding myself with those I love and reflecting upon my feelings and connection to my body.
Totals
This week: 34 hours
Cumulative total: 122.5 hours
F ~ How I Became a Moan
How I became a moan
a hinged open jaw that is neither a sigh nor a scream
yet yields veins to loop
bodies to conform
to choke
to rise
lengthening the nape of my neck, lifting chin
to let the pedestal of ideal images falter
thrashing them in the acids of my plump stomack
I am embers, fed by the ashes of the weak minds:
should and ideal
*** This is a work in progress
F ~ Week 7 Log
May 13th, Monday
4 hours reading Vagina: A New Biography by Naomi Wolf, reflecting upon my own body, note taking, and drawing.
30 minutes connecting with our peer group, touching base and deciding to do solo work for the day.
2 hours working on the Holdredge paper, organizing ideas and formatting.
2 hours reading Neuro by Nikolas Rose, conjuring a reverie.
May 14th, Tuesday
2.5 hours in class lecture on Perloff reading, sharing poetry and inspiring work found in our projects.
3 hours reading The Naked Woman by Desmond Morris
Breathing, stretching, tending to my body’s needs.
May 15th, Wednesday
3 hours reading Vagina: A New Biography by Naomi Wolf. Turning inward, I had a difficult time reading this specific section titled the “traumatized vagina” I took frequent breaks and a lot of breathing, realizing this is very real to people and needs to be recognized.
2 hours reading The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are used Against Women by Naomi Wolf.
2 hours creating poetry, moving my body, talking with women and reflecting upon my findings.
May 16th, Thursday
2 hours reading Vagina: A New Biography by Naomi Wolf
2 hours with the Calculated Poetics, creating a sento with our small groups, Brain vs. Brane.
2 hours reading reading The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are used Against Women by Naomi Wolf.
May 17th, Friday
4 hours reading The Female Pelvis Anatomy & Exercise by Blandine Calais-Germain
1.5 hours drawing vaginas and multiple views of the female body
May 18th, Saturday
2 hours reading The Naked Woman by Desmond Morris
The rest of the day I drove up to Seattle for Dream Dance, a night filled with acro yoga, dance, tea serving, enlightening conversation, connection making, community love time! Then I made 2 rhubarb pies!
May 19th, Sunday
coming back to Olympia then,
3 hours reading The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are used Against Women by Naomi Wolf.
4 hours reading Body of Wisdom: Women’s Spiritual Power and How it Serves by Hilary Hart
2 hours reading The Female Pelvis Anatomy & Exercise by Blandine Calais-Germain, performing the exercises, breathing, getting to know my body.
Totals
This week: 44.5 hours
Cumulative total: 88.5 hours
F ~ Week 6 Log
May 5th, Sunday
3 hours reading and note taking on The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Have Been Used Against Women by Naomi Wolf.
1 hour reading Neuro and configuring notes for a Bachelardian reverie
May 6th, Monday
2 hours reading and note taking on The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Have Been Used Against Women by Naomi Wolf.
2 hours of peer development, sharing to each other about how our field studies are going. This was a wonderful session of connection and communication.
4 hours reading and note taking on Vagina: A New Biography by Naomi Wolf.
2 hours reading and note taking on Neuro and configuring notes for a Bachelardian reverie.
May 7th, Tuesday
2 hours reading and note taking on Neuro and configuring notes for a Bachelardian reverie.
2 hours of the 0-core component lecture on Tuesdays, guest lecturer, helpful recommendations of books towards my field study.
4 hours reading and note taking on Vagina: A New Biography and The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Have Been Used Against Women, both written by Naomi Wolf.
Body Scanning and Breathing exercises throughout the day.
– – –
Health concerns have popped up today, and of all places the pain is in my pelvis. I have been focusing so much time learning about the correlation between the brain and the pelvis/vagina, now I am aware and mindful of my own tension.
– – –
May 8th, Wednesday
1 hour with the Calculated Poetics class, shared my “Ode to Romanesco” poem (in progress).
5 hours reading and taking notes on Vagina: A New Biography by Naomi Wolf.
1 hour writing poetry and deciphering notes.
Body Scanning and Breathing exercises throughout the day.
May 9th, Thursday
6 hours reading Vagina: A new Biography by Naomi Wolf
Breathing, body-scanning, laying supine, chanting mantras, sleeping, breathing.
May 10th, Friday
2 hours reading and taking notes on Vagina: A New Biography
2 hours reading and taking notes on The Naked Woman by Desmond Morris finding interesting parallels between how the female body had changed over time relating to evolution and agriculture.
Breathing, resting, soaking up sun, sleeping, hydrating, breathing.
May 11th, Saturday
3 hours reading The Naked Woman by Desmond Morris, note taking.
May 12th, Sunday
2 hours reading The Naked Woman by Desmond Morris, note taking.
Body Scanning and Breathing exercises throughout the day.
Totals
This week: 44 hours
Cumulative total: 44 hours
F is for The Female Body
Over the next eight weeks this student plans to understand how the female body has physically changed over the last one hundred years compared to the fluxing views it holds in American society. She hopes to look at the views of women, men, literature, art, and how she herself sees the figure of the woman’s body. This student will be reading six books of anatomy, spirituality, the history of the woman’s body, views of the woman’s body through the lens of a zoologist, as well as a book of body poetry. Throughout this field study this student will keep a journal of her findings from the books and how she herself is forming views about herself and the women in her life. She will find and partake in any woman and body inspired workshops in Olympia or Seattle to immerse herself in different communities of women.
Field Study proposal excerpt
(an excerpt from your in-program ILC will go here )
See full proposal and weekly logs
ABCs and 123s – weekly log and field notes
[catlist tags=f-logs date=yes excerpt=yes excerpt_size=30]
Bachelardian Reverie
[catlist tags=f-bachelard date=yes excerpt=yes excerpt_size=30]
Poetry
[catlist tags=f-poetry excerpt=yes excerpt_size=30]
Poetry Observed
(embedded youtube or Vimeo video will go here)
Term Paper Abstract